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weekly_slayings
17 September 2008 @ 04:43 pm

from rejected cartoons, watch them
This symbol means the entry is an example of some unwitting idiot I encounter and slay. If you have your own, send them and I'll put them up. I usually find at least one person a week who offends me enough for me to bother.
   I hope he's learnt a lesson in what's acceptable This one identifies the entry which shows an example with integrated explanations and suggestions.
pow The boxing glove shows an entry which reveals the tips to successful slayings. such molestation of language is a serious offense This identifies the entry as a slaying focused on battling those who insist on misusing the english language.





This is Hitler dancing, it shows that nothing I write here should be taken too seriously.

This way you can easily identify what, if anything, interests you.
Woot.
 
 
 
weekly_slayings
17 September 2008 @ 02:35 am
New meaning : To Slay (in argument) pn verb : to spray with glorious irrefutable logical pain; to extinguish all faulty preconceptions; to assault someone in a manner so clever and witty that they may never fully recover; to pop one's ego; to annihilate one's misconceptions about the world and leave one frightened & festering in this new knowledge.

Purpose : To force open ignorant eyes; to reduce misinformation; to (hopefully) eventuate in some kind of ripple effect of knowledge and thought that may change society.

Important Note : After a slaying, you must exclaim "slayed", and make epic hand gestures; proceed to walk away in victory.

Even More Important Note : Simply abusing someone does not constitute as slaying. You must use unquestionable reason and alert the person to a truth through the act of slaying. Hurt feelings are just a by-product of this rare (for the slayed) hit of knowledge. You may revel in crushing their spirit if you are sadistic, or move on to teach more by slaying their ignorant claims and beliefs.

Success Rate in Educating the Ignorant Masses : Questionable. People don't often listen to something so aggressively intent in conveying a point, especially when that point is that they are ignorant. Responses from tested primates range from "your gay" (& other insults which have no grounds in reality. Often these are misspelt which only furthers the "you are an idiot" hypothesis of the slayer.) to an acceptance of your obvious superiority and omniscience, as well as an alteration of their views on the argued subject to reflect such acceptance (ie. your view, the one and only.). Often, the slayed will reply with misinterpretations of your (wise) words, stick-man versions of your arguments, and pathetic attempts at imitating intelligence and reason. When this happens, do not despair. They have exhibited "severe stupidity" (for which there is no known cure), but now you know that their absorbency is 0. You can either cease communication, or insult them personally until you grow weary of such malice. You cannot help them if their absorbency is nil, for they will never learn anything new, ever. Maybe through conditioning (much like lab rats), they may acquire certain behaviours,  but reason is a language they will never understand.

Summary : Basically, it's worth a shot slaying an imbecile, especially if you have the necessary equipment (working brain). They are unlikely to absorb information unless it is forced upon them: it is well known that idiots have very limited information absorbence capacities. They may get defensive and insult you back, fortunately, this will onlyfurther fuel your slayings, which can be directed more precisely at the nature of their unique stupidity. They may learn something. Either way, when you have said the cruelest thing you are willing to say, or when the slayed is dumbfounded and silent, you must abide by important note #1. My definition, my rules.
 
 
 
weekly_slayings
When you are lurking around myspace desperate to discover but a single person worthy of interacting with, and you stumble across this sort of thing...

It is absolutely essential to attack this blurry stranger and tell them they aint fooling nobody by overexposing their face into oblivion.

You can be sure that they have done this because they are thoroughly insecure about their appearance, thus your unprovoked attack will no doubt crush them. Insults are most effective when they have extensive grounding in reality. Calling someone random names and using the word "fuck" is not insulting. It's pointless. Slaying is about accurate, crisp and fatal remarks. If you haven't crushed anyone's spirit, you're not doing it right.
Nothing will make your day like the satisfaction of knowing that you have brought suffering to fools. It's like a rainbow.
 
 
Current Mood: chipper
 
 
 
weekly_slayings
Photos, when they have been properly altered & captioned, or are accompanied by offensive prose, can offend in a manner most swift and fastidious. You begin by finding something about somebody's behaviour that pisses you off. You can take a screen shot which exhibits their stupidity and make it more explicit to them by adding simple text to the image. Example:

I was looking for artistic depictions of syringes and intra-venus drug use on deviantART. Instead I came across a bunch of douchebags whose only artistic intention was to appear morbid. I wanted to alert them of the fact that they were douchebags, since no doubt their own friends kept silent about the crummy nature of their "photography", so I made a simple little picture:

dear morbid-fiending scene kiddies, please stay away from syringes

Alone, this is insufficient to fascilitate any kind of self-realisation by such people. So I let them in on MY artistic intention with a brief summary of their obvious inadequacies. I mentioned the purpose of art (to convey something of meaning) and that appearing morbid does not fall under this category. I gave helpful (condescending) tips to encourage less lameness on their behalf in the future. I suggested they avoid making "art" about subjects entirely foreign to them, or at least research injecting before including it in a self proclaimed work of art. Pointed out that if they are simply positioning what looks like a syringe at a 90 degree angle to their arm and pouting, it is obvious that their intentions are to create a new breed of morbid coolness and not to communicate anything (because clearly they know nothing of Sir Inge).

An effective slaying, one with the potential to really change a particular stupid human behaviour. The key is to find logical arguments, and never resort simply swearing at them; despite how tempted you may feel to simply abuse them. Slaying will not only hurt their feelings, it may discourage further stupidity, which is what we all really want. Give obvious examples of their mistakes in a self-confident tone and generally they will listen. They're sheep, they do stupid things because they are misguided sheep. Show them the way, then hit them with your staff a few times to show them who's boss, and also ensure that they vividly remember the direction to flock to.

Try it, encourage people to change by rubbing their crummy behaviour in their faces. Effective and easy, and they may tell their friends to also stop doing stupid things - the ripple effect of your slayings can be huge. Also, it's good fun.

 
 
 
 
 
weekly_slayings
amazing slaying by captain pinhead, the master of jerkness

Short, snappy and incredibly precise. This is slaying at its prime.
*High levels of offence guaranteed if you are also an anonymous posting coward.
 
 
 
weekly_slayings
This one's a long one, and requires a little background knowledge of the former stupidity exhibited by the slayed. It may be wise skip it if you don't have the attention span to read several hilarious pages of mockery/ aren't serious about becoming a successful slayer/ any other excuse.
It provides some snappy responses for the struggling slayer, but mostly it's just funny. It shows how some people must have the last word, despite having no argument whatsoever.
Basically someone from a previous battle decided to "get me back" for a very precise slaying by anonymously pestering me, their insults consisting of mere links to terms they associate me with. They then posted ridiculous responses to all of my subsequent slayings and belittlings. I do enjoy having the last word, but you can learn from my mistakes. Sometimes silence drives these people nuts. Livejournal communication constitutes the majority of all human interaction they experience, and so they will often unnecessarily prolong an interaction just to squeeze a response out of someone. Such is their miserable, lonely, life.
I pursued this for longer than was necessary, it was clear early on that this brain had no absorbency whatsoever. It's just so fun slaying, I guess that makes me sadistic. Or hopeful, that my last reply will be the one that gets through to them and makes them reflect. I bet it's just camouflaged sadism.
I guess I'm cheating because this is me getting the last word. Crafty. She can't respond.
Feel free to use this real-life idiot to practice your slayings on, she's a pathetically easy target and often leaves herself open to some potentially memorable slayings.

http://captain-pinhead.livejournal.com/1039.html
 
 
 
weekly_slayings
This short film guarantees your success, but it must be used sparingly. As with all templates, it doesn't specifically insult your victim, and this is its weak point. Comment if you require the link.

Tell your imbecile that their comments have won them a special prize. Or if they are male, tell them you can see what will happen to them later in life, be creative. Then post this:



slayed.

Disappear and never attempt further communication, lest they point out how childish and petty that was. An inability to retaliate will anger them further, you can bask in this knowledge.

Obviously this only works on the internet. If you attempt to use this in a face to face argument, I diagnose you with severe stupidity and demand that you stop reading my wisdom.